September
26, 2016
Greetings
from the legal tender,
On
a recent trip to a foreign country I discovered something exciting.
If
I had started this morning’s essay by reminding you that today was the 56th
anniversary of the Nixon-Kennedy debate, then I might be tempted to talk about
another less relevant debate. Or if I
had mentioned that on this day in 1969 one of the most powerful events in our
country’s history took place, you’d say “Oh that’s right! I remember where I
was!! It was the premier of the ‘The
Brady Bunch’.” In either case, half of
you would have already stopped reading.
But
exciting news from a foreign place? Stop
the presses.
Whenever
I travel internationally I like to look for interesting highlights to spice up
my pretentious dinner conversations when I return home. It might be the natural beauty, or the
friendly people, or the fine cuisine or the excellent coffee.
As
it happens I was travelling to Canada, so we all know we won’t be going on and
on about the coffee. Yes Canada is an
international destination for me, even though I can drive there. I still had to wait in line to show my
passport so it counts.
Canada
has a great deal to offer the raconteur who is desperately trying to impress
his fellow dinner guests, and I made copious notes about the beautiful lakes,
the lilting accents, the French influences, and of course Canada’s contribution
to the gastronomic world, ‘poutine’.
But
what I came home with, literally, was something else. Plastic currency.
Canadian
currency has always been different.
Anyone who has bought anything in Canada and been given a few hundred
dollars in coins as change knows what I mean.
And then try to figure out what a ‘Loonie’ is worth; it’s like a
national secret. Plus the country was
famous for its colorful bills, which, compared to the money in the U.S. were
works of art. (I have been told on good
authority that the reason for the colorful currency was so it was easy to tell
the denominations apart in dark places like the Windsor Ballet. Whatever that is.)
These
new polymer bills feel very similar to traditional money but are made of a
longer lasting plastic. The construction allows the treasury to include all kinds
of security features to prevent counterfeiting.
The plastic bills feature former Prime Ministers printed on them, or as
one American (to whom I may be married to) described them: ‘ugly guys.’ They also have clear ‘windows’ in them to
make them even harder to replicate.
The
technology is cool, and the money is interesting and different from the
ordinary greenbacks we are accustomed to on this side of the border. What’s exciting is the potential. As most of my lithographic audience knows,
modern print-on-demand technology allows fast customizing of mass quantities of
virtually anything. Even polymer
currency.
Imagine
the possibilities. The US Treasury could
sell ad space on our currency, probably make enough to pay off our national
debt. ‘This dollar brought to you by ‘Dollar
General Dollar Stores’’ Perhaps some faith
organizations would want to feature an ad under ‘In God We Trust’. That would make it a true religious
denomination.
Politicians
might want to plagiarize ‘The Buck Stops Here’ or ‘A vote for me means more
money in your pocket, and I don’t mean a bribe or anything related to Pork
Barrel influence.’
Imagine
if your grandma wanted to put a five dollar bill in your birthday card, and she
could imprint a personalized message. ‘Happy
Birthday’ she might write. ‘Don’t spend
this at the Windsor Ballet.’(Whatever that is.)
It’s
impressive to me that Canada has already leapt ahead of the U.S. in polymer
currency. The RCMP reports that
counterfeiting is down by 74% in Canada.
Which I think translates to 150 Loonies.
Certainly there is a need for that in the U.S., not to mention that
every dollar could be bringing in revenue to pay off all the Yuan we owe.
Once
again I have the Canadians to thank for scintillating dinner repartee. I can’t wait to impress my fellow diners with
fascinating anecdotes about modern money.
Oh the hours of conversation that will inspire.
By
the way, the opening sequence of the Brady Bunch featured all the cast members
on a tiled screen seeming to look at each other, while the theme song
played. Remember? This was called ‘multi dynamic image
technique’. It was invented by
Christopher Chapman, who was from Ontario, Canada. Same place you can get polymer bills, poutine
and the Windsor Ballet. (Whatever that
is.)
Well,
it beats talking about the debates.
Hope
this finds you feeling loonie,
David
No comments:
Post a Comment