February
29, 2016
Greetings
from the Spotlight,
It
is a generally accepted fact that the ‘Leap Year’ is a fabrication developed by
the government, also called ‘the gummint’ in some regions. So called ‘scientists’ have claimed that adding
a ‘leap day’ is somehow necessary to line up our calendar with the sun.
Really? What are we, Aztecs?
For
those of you who were not around four years ago, which, by the way, was ALSO an
election year, (tell me that’s not a coincidence) allow me to explain. In a leap year the government changes the
calendar so that there are 29 days in February instead of the correct number,
28, like God intended. Look it up. There is no mention of Leap Year in the
bible.
Nothing
has been written about this conspiracy in the media. Does that tell you anything? Not even an oblique reference in the social
barometer ‘Family Circus’. The silence is deafening.
If
you watched the Academy Awards last night you probably noticed that not one
Oscar winner said anything about Leap Year in their acceptance speech. Climate change, political corruption, racism,
sure all that was bandied about, but when we look to Hollywood to lead us in
real social change, as we all do, they were ominously mute. In the classic ‘tail wags dog’ scenario, it’s
obvious that the government has somehow gained control of the entertainment
industry.
I
belong to a group which is dedicated to untangling this web of weblike
conspiracies, which is as intricate and sticky as spider’s web. Our group is
called Leap Year Abolitionist Reformers, or LYAR. (The acronym is a little misleading.) Our goal is to illuminate the real motivation
for this so-called ‘intercalating’, which sound like something no one wants
their teenagers involved with. Here are
a few reasons that the government is forcing you to change your calendar:
The
powerful Winter Sports lobby. By
extending winter an additional day, this syndicate of snowshoe sellers and
toboggan manufacturers rakes in huge profits. Ever wonder why so many Senators are seen
wearing Seirus gear?
Adding
February 29 creates an additional campaign day for the presidential election. Everyone in the system benefits: the Koch
brothers, network television, the DMV (or wherever you register to vote) not to
mention the huge Yard Sign Consortium, which has a permanent office in Washington
DC.
Extending
the tax year by one day. We pay $1.5
trillion in taxes each year. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out what happens
when you add an additional day of income for the government. You do the math. Seriously, what did you get?
The
list goes on but there is one main reason that the Leap Yearers want to stretch
February beyond its normal limits. I
imagine that you are probably thinking the same thing; this extra day in February
delays celebrating one of the most important days of the year to many
people. Of course I am talking about St.
David’s Day.
As
you know, every March 1st, the world stops to honor St. David. The tradition usually included parades, speeches,
the lighting of the St. David tree. And
of course the memory of St. David is celebrated by honoring his namesakes. Usually these special people are showered
with gifts; the traditional dark chocolate, Starbucks gift cards, sometimes
discreet envelopes of cash are appropriate. Some towns will offer special
parking privileges closest to the door at Panera. It varies by region of the country; who can
say where these traditions start.
I
know that I don’t have to lay this out for you, but if you look you will see
there has never been a President of the United States named David. (Not even
Eisenhower) There are only two members
of the US Congress named David. There
are only 10 in the House of Representatives.
Petty
jealousy? Well, we can hardly call it petty.
Our government, disproportionately run by Bobs and Johns and Franks and
Nancys, have used their power for generations to delay the celebration that
honors the name we all hold in such high esteem. A name we celebrate by giving random shoulder
massages to the people who have been called to be a David.
I’m
not going to let this make me bitter or cynical. I will continue my fight to eliminate this
wedge that the government has forced between the 28th and 1st. I will
honor St. David today AND tomorrow, doing my best to represent his memory by
accepting the adulation and the gifts that you all so willingly bestow in his
name.
Hope
this finds you leaping to celebrate,
David
Copyright
© 2016 David Smith
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