October 27, 2014
Greetings from the dugout,
Most readers will already know that I don’t normally follow
sports in any rigorous fashion. To illustrate,
here is an actual conversation about baseball in which I took part:
Friend: Are you going to watch the World Series?
Me: No.
I do care about baseball, as required by the Constitution,
which we all know names baseball as our National Pastime. I have seen several movies about baseball and
I have learned that:
Baseball is a magical art.
Baseball is a science. Baseball is
a financial institution.
Baseball is a series of math problems. In baseball, hard work and believing in
yourself, along with natural ability, and the love of a good woman, will lead to
success in the face of unfavorable odds.
What most people haven’t considered is that those elements
have very little impact on the ultimate success of a baseball team. What really matters are unrelated, seemingly
irrelevant symbols.
The Kansas City Royals are playing in the World Series for
the first time since 1985, when they defeated the St. Louis Cardinals (not the
Catholic ones). You might wonder why
this professional baseball team has struggled in obscurity. Supported by
millions of dollars in salaries, dozens of world class coaches, and 29 years of
expert athletic scratching and spitting, the Royals haven’t been able to take
home the Commissioner’s Trophy.
There is a consensus from a cadre of sports enthusiasts who
believe that the Royals are under a cloud.
It is the Curse of the Shuttlecocks.
The Royals enjoyed some minor success after the ’85 win, but
something happened that ruined them.
Some believe it was the installation of giant badminton birdies, 19 foot
tall shuttlecocks, on the lawn of the Nelson Atkins museum in Kansas City. Ever since they appeared, the Royals have floundered
as also-rans. Yes, on the surface it
seems unlikely that freakishly large elements of an awkward child’s game could
have an impact on a professional sports franchise. But what other explanation could there be?
Tangentially, here is another actual conversation in which I
took part:
Friend: Want to play badminton?
Me: No.
This year the Royals are in the World Series, the furthest
they have gotten in nearly three decades, in large part due to the Wild
Card. The Wild Card: This is where all
of the team captains get in a circle and draw from a deck of cards, held by
former Cincinnati Reds hustler, Pete Rose. (There is no betting in baseball) The team that pulls the Joker (the wild card)
gets to compete for a shot in the World Series, even if they have a worse
record than the Detroit Tigers. (There
is no crying in baseball.)
In case you want to know the outcome of the World Series but
don’t want to actually watch the games, the giant birdies still stand, so the
Royals are still cursed. Proof? Last night the Royals lost to the Giants 5-0.
Yes, there are competing curse possibilities. The Royals last won the Series in 1985, and
that same year Microsoft released Windows 1.0.
The comic strip ‘Calvin and Hobbes’ was first published that year. 1985 started on a Tuesday. 2014 started on a Wednesday. All of these things could play a part in the
Royals failure this year, much to the Giant’s glee.
Baseball is rife with curses. There is the Boston Red Sox Bambino Curse,
the Chicago Cubs Billy Goat Curse, the Phillies Billy Penn Curse, not to
mention the Sports Illustrated Cover Jinx.
It’s no wonder the Yankees dominate the World Series. I’m surprised that the other teams don’t just
hand them the trophy on opening day.
I’m not saying I completely buy into the idea of a sports
curse. But, the Detroit Tigers haven’t
won the World Series since 1984, which is the same year that Alex Trebek
started hosting ‘Jeopardy’. Need I say
more? (Stated in the form of a question)
Hope this finds you crossing your fingers,
David
Copyright © 2014 David Smith
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