Not Famous

  

September 26, 2022

 

Greetings from the everyday,

 I know very few people whom one might describe as ‘famous’.  In fact, this truth is one I have in common with the majority of the population.  Most of the people I know, and that you know, are not famous. 

 Before I go any further, I will note that there is no appropriate word for this place in society, the ‘non-famous’.  The dictionary suggests ‘obscure’ or ‘unknown’ or even ‘inconspicuous’.  But these are ridiculous terms for the people we know, whom we have already identified as virtually everyone in existence.  Hold this thought.

 The idea of famousness is a relatively new construct in the history of humanity.  Originally it was associated with leadership or some legitimate accomplishment that contributed to the betterment of the world.  If you look back one hundred years at who was famous, it was people, (mostly men, such was the time) who were religious leaders, politicians, authors, and scientists. 

 As technology advanced allowing entertainers to broaden their reach, a new version of famous was created.  Radio then movies then TV changed the concept of who was notable, and recognizable.  And then the internet changed all of this again, even more dramatically.  The famous pool became wider and more shallow.

 So, we see the stage we have set.  The goal of being known by a large number of strangers for something significant, or even ridiculous, is a full-time occupation for many people.  This is alongside the large and growing number of ‘mega-celebrities’ who count their Twitter followers in the hundreds of millions.

 I brought us this far for only one reason.  It is not to moan and wring my hands about the state of the world.  There are too many other places you can gather to say “Ain’t it awful?”  Seen from outside the context of society, it’s a bizarre kind of religion, celebrity worship.  But here’s what I think is more important.

 Our lives are filled with regular people who are not known beyond their circle of friends and family.  They are known for who they are, good or bad, not known for being known.  I am guilty of taking their ‘status’ for granted.  I suspect you are too.

 My friends are not celebrities.  For the most part, they are not award-winning, or world-renowned, or record holders, or influencers.  Many of the people I know, including close friends, are just like most of the people you know.  And you are one of the regular people they know.  See how important we are to each other?

 Recently I had lunch with a friend, whose name you would recognize if you spend any time in these pages, but otherwise is not famous.  He is kind and thoughtful.  He is patient, smart, he is creative, talented, and hard-working.  I believe him to be a good parent and spouse.  This is not his resume, just getting you in the door.

 We ate our food, touched on our family news, and traded thoughts and ideas.  We talked about podcasts we’d heard, books we read.  Like all perfect conversations, one thing led to another, organically.  Then, he was explaining something he learned about empathy, a worthy lesson, and as he told me about it his eyes brimmed with tears, spilled onto his cheeks.  It was an unconscious thing, and he seemed not to notice as he spoke, but it was so genuine, so natural, and so important, that it’s all I could think of as I drove home.  I realized another word I would add to describe him: beautiful.

 This exchange is what most of the important moments of my life are like.  I visit with my children, I talk with the barista at the coffee shop, I trade laughs with my brother.  This is the quality of my life, these beautiful exchanges that matter.  Even the most trivial conversation contains in it this same beauty I saw in my friend at lunch.

 When you meet a celebrity, often the main result of that event is you get to tell people about the meeting.  There is little intrinsic value in the exchange.  I understand the thrill, it’s fun.  But it’s a saccharine experience, and unless Tom Hanks told you an excellent story or Desmond Tutu gave you life-changing advice, it pales in comparison to the beauty of the regular person.  The important person.

 What I hope can come of these words is to raise our awareness of the beauty of the important people all around us, virtually everyone who everyone knows.  They are smart, perhaps brilliant, caring, devoted to us.  They are fun, they are loving, they are talented, they are interesting, they have rich stories to share.  They are us, and we are them.

 We owe it to them, and ourselves, to show them the enthusiasm we may have reserved for a video of Paul Hollywood teaching Dwayne Johnson how to bake a tart.

 There’s an old joke where a guy tries to check into a hotel that is all booked up. He says “You mean to say if the president of the United States showed up, you don’t have a room for him?”  The hotel clerk says, of course they would accommodate the president.  The man says “The president isn’t coming.  I’ll take his room.”

 The message I wanted you to hear this morning is that we know instinctively that the ordinary people in our lives are more important than the kings and dancers and actors and politicians.  We know it, and we ignore it. 

 The president isn’t coming, give them the room. 

 

Hope this finds you with the beautiful people,

 

David

 

 

Copyright © 2022  David Smith