Silliness

 

May 3, 2021

 Greetings from a humorous view,

 Those of you with sensitive dispositions may wish to avert your eyes while reading this. 

 A colonoscopy is not funny.  But really, it is hilarious.  The idea of it still makes me laugh.  I don’t think having one is funny, but you have to admit the process and the procedure is so ludicrous, that taken out of context, it’s hysterical. 

 To prove the comedy, I would time travel back to the 1800’s and explain it to a doctor then.

 

“I have travelled back in time from 2021 to tell you about an amazing medical procedure.”

“Why are you dressed like a tramp?  Has there been a terrible war?”

“No, this is just how I look.” 

“I see, don’t people dress to travel in your era?  All right, tell me your amazing news.”

“Well, in the future, medical doctors will put cameras inside you to see if you are healthy.”

Look of disbelief.  “It seems unlikely, since the flash would set the patient on fire.”

“No, there’s no flash.  The camera has a special light on it.” 

“Well, my good vagabond, just the process of opening the patient up to place the camera would be deadly.”

“No, that’s the funny part.  The camera is small enough to, um, insert it in the derriere to look around.”

“The derriere?  Have the French taken over the world in the future?”
“You know, the backside.  Your bottom.  Bum.  Uh, fanny.  Gluteus maximus.  Badonkadonk.”

“And this is done to cure a cold?  Or baldness?”

“No, actually those are still a problem.”

Look of shock.  “Just a moment.”  Opens a door and calls to another doctor, who rushes in.

“This tramp here says in the future they put cameras in their tookus.”

“He’s a witch! Burn him!”

 

I will confess that I think the colonoscopy is miraculous, a wonderful tool to save lives.  I just can’t help seeing the process as comical.   There is a formula in humor: tragedy plus time equals comedy.  It may not apply here but since I thought of it, I had to write it down, and I’m sure most of you have stopped reading by now.  Anyway, if I teleported two hundred years to the future and explained it to a doctor then, perhaps that would make my point.

 

“I’ve travelled in time from 2021 to talk to you about colonoscopy.”

“Why are you dressed like a tramp?  Was there another depression I missed?”

“What is it with you doctors?  This is just how I look.”

“So, anyway, you guys are still sticking cameras in your tookus?  Isn’t that inconvenient?”

“Well, yes, but it’s a necessary procedure.”

“I forget, is that how you cured the cold and baldness?”

“No, those are still a problem.”

Opens a door and calls to an android doctor who rushes in.

“This guy here says he’s from the past, asking about colonoscopy.”

“Geez, is that the thing with the leeches?”
Me: “Excuse me, I’m from 2021, not 1421.”

“Is this the hilarious procedure where the doctor drives a camera around inside you and watches on a little TV?  And the prep takes two days of drinking gallons of awful tasting stuff and spending hours in the bathroom?”

“Yes, that’s it!  I knew it would be funny.  Are you still doing those?”

“Lord, no.  The last doctor who did that was burned for witchcraft.”

 

 It is amazing how the medical world has progressed, and along the way introduced laughable practices like lobotomies and eating tapeworms and using heroin to treat a cough.  It’s easy to see them as funny now, even as they were dangerous or lethal.  Well easy for me, who somehow just dodged that lobotomy era.

 Definitely take the colonoscopy serious.  And all the great diagnostics available to keep you healthy for as long as life offers you.  But you have to admit the colonoscopy is funny.  I’m not mocking gastroenterologists, I’m sure they are the butt of a lot of jokes. (Don’t roll your eyes, you knew I was going to say it.)  I am only saying that most of life is silly, even the serious parts, and all that keeps us from laughing is time or distance.  Make the leap.

                                                                                                                                                           

Hope this finds you laughing your tush off,

 

David

 

 Copyright © 2021 David Smith