Ilene

 

March 1, 2021

 Greetings from the disciple,

 Somewhere in your cadre of friends, you know someone like Ilene.  In a little while you will want to call them.

 “Where the heck is Ilene?”

These are usually the words spoken by her husband Scott, just as we all are about to go somewhere, or order dinner, or the curtain is going up, or our boat is leaving.  The answer to this question is always interesting.

 If you go to dinner with Ilene, she will end up in the kitchen with the owner of the restaurant, and come back to the table with an old family recipe, and before long the chef will be at the table with a special dish prepared just for the moment, which she will share with the next table.  It’s just how it is.  She is curious and unabashed and follows her heart.  Best of all, she takes us with her.

 “Wanna go to that castle over in Sintra?”

“We can’t, all those tours were cancelled because of the fires.”

“Yeah, I know, but I talked to someone you can still get a train and get pretty close and then we’ll just get a ride.  We’ll figure it out. C’mon let’s go.”

And like that we were in an adventure.  And there is live music on the train, and the scenery is fantastic and then when we arrive Ilene says “Let’s get a tuk-tuk, those look fun.”

 And then there is a thrilling ride in a three wheeled death trap up serpentine mountain roads, the four of us clinging to any solid part of the rattling contraption, driven by the most charming young man who is more than willing to share how he landed in this corner of Portugal, and now is our newest friend.

 And then, let’s explore this garden, I heard it’s beautiful, and it was.  And then we are in another car heading for the ocean, and we explore the coast until we find a perfect stretch of beach, and somehow in her backpack there is a picnic of sorts, and we open the wine and toast to the day.

 It doesn’t matter if we can’t speak the language or understand the currency or if we know how to get back from where we are going.  Ilene somehow knows what might be interesting or fun, and we follow her lead and the journey is tremendous.

One of the first fascinating things we learned about Ilene is that she collects dirt.  Somewhere in her house are little jars of soil from every country she has visited.  We could be standing at the ruins of Pompeii and Scott will say “Where the heck is Ilene?” And the answer is, collecting a bit of history to take back home.  “They won’t miss it.” She says, shrugging at the signs forbidding her hobby.

 Scott and Ilene were our friends from the first introduction.  They are wonderful bookends, terrific partners, wildly in love with each other, and both filled with laughter.  We have travelled with them in France, Italy, Australia, Turkey, Portugal, Spain, and Argentina, and more than I can list.  We have sat in the piazza in Florence, wandered in the Grand Bazaar in Istanbul, swayed to the Fado music in Lisbon, sampled wine in Buenos Aires as we watched a polo match.  Ilene will say something like “I was talking to this woman at breakfast and she told me about this really cool place…”   And I catch Scott’s eye and we both shake our heads.  We are going.

 Another classic Ilene bookmark: If we order a bottle of red wine she explains to the waiter that red wine is meant to be served at room temperature, an adage as old as grapes, but ‘room temperature’ was much cooler when the idea originated.  People kept their wine in cellars which was fifty degrees or so.  All of which to say, the wine should be served slightly cooler than our room temperature to enjoy it best.  And she’s right, and it’s another reason to have her with us.

 Ilene is a complex person with a powerful personality.  She is fiercely proud of her heritage, of her family, of the things she cares about.  She is fun, energetic, and curious about most anything.  She is a gifted raconteur, a teacher, an author, spouse, mother, and grandmother, and those are just a few of the stickers on her steamer trunk.  She is a person of passion, whether she is taking drumming classes or teaching yoga or golfing or hiking. 

 Every year she celebrates her ‘Brainaversary’, now fifteen trips around the sun since she survived a brush with death because of a brain tumor.  She tells the story with fresh enthusiasm, because the lesson of survival matters to her, and she knows it will impact the listener.  It’s possible Horace coined ‘Carpe diem’ knowing that Ilene would one day embody it. 

 Ilene keeps their kayaks and bikes on her car so that they could be on the road to some adventure without much fuss.  She has a strong drive and it can be a challenge to match her step.  She says:

“Scott wanted to watch TV and I said ‘You can sit on the couch with your next wife.  I’m going.’”

 What stands out for me is that Ilene has been the catalyst to the extraordinary.  I could share many examples but this first one is what I always think of.

 We were in Sydney, and the city offered all manner of interesting things near our hotel.  But one morning Ilene suggested we escape; she had heard of a great beach not too far away.  We were a little unsure, but a small group of us plunged ahead, made our way through the city, following Ilene to a bus station, navigating our way to the coast.  It was only twenty miles away from where we were, but just far enough that we might have missed one of the most beautiful days ever.

 We somehow found Bondi Beach, and then resolved to walk the coastline, to explore as long as we found adventure.  We might never have come back.  The ocean was inspiring, and the path we followed along the shore took us past incredible beaches, quaint villages, fascinating rock formations and cliffs.  We idled at a bowling club, watched businessmen wade in the ocean, sat humbled in a seaside cemetery.  We made our way past Bronte Beach and finally to Clovelly where we all sat around tiny tables at a sidewalk café and sampled the local beer.  We got to know each other, sitting there in the sun, basking in the adventure that Ilene had made for us.

 Ilene is a rare treasure.  I’m grateful to have her as our friend, because she reminds me to have the courage to seek beyond ordinary or expected.  She has shown that with a little imagination, and the willingness to abandon some control and just go, you can find the richest moments waiting for you.  But above all, to go and do, that life is too precious to waste waiting.

 In every group of friends, there is that person who embodies Ilene’s spirit.  Maybe you are that person, in which case, thank you.  Or you know that person, in which case I urge you to call them today and thank them, and then ask them where they are going next. 

 Hope this finds you going,

 

David

 

 

 

Copyright © 2021 David Smith