November
26, 2018
Greetings from
the reformed,
You may be
short on time so here is what happens; I admit I was wrong and agree to shut
up.
There are countless
numbers of unwritten rules. You can’t
count them because they are unwritten, and rather than start writing them all
down and counting them, we say they are unwritten. And countless. There may be an unwritten rule about writing about
this kind of accounting.
Don’t wear white
after Labor Day. Keep your food from
touching other people’s food at the grocery check out. Don’t make eye contact in the elevator. No ‘cuts’ in the Communion line. And a whole
host of etiquette things about elbows and knees I won’t go into.
And of course
there’s the one about when to put up your Christmas decorations. Associated with that is the unwritten rule
about when to start playing Christmas music.
It will
surprise no one to know that I have an opinion about this. I have lots of opinions,
some of them really well reasoned and founded in logic and in the best interest
of mankind. Here’s an unwritten rule
about opinions:
I may have, in
the past, expressed my criticism of people who ‘start’ Christmas too early. I had some arbitrary line that I thought
should not be crossed, which has been tested by others all the way back into
the summer months. I may have pointed
out the incongruity of inflatable pumpkins and Santa and angels and the baby
Jesus surrounded by scary plastic gravestones.
In order to cut back on incidences of incredulity in my life, (an
awesome goal) I have made up my mind to let this go.
I decided
earlier this year that I was going to keep my Christmas Start opinion to myself. This decision was underscored when I heard my
son Carson quoting me about holiday music coming too early.
“I’m
channeling Dad,” he said. ‘No Christmas
MUSIC BEFORE HALLOWEEN!’” Which, in my
head, sounded like Frank Costanza going on about Festivus rules.
So it seems I
have this reputation. I thought about
that and decided not to put it on the list of proudest accomplishments.
What settled
in my mind was what should have occurred to me a long time ago. If it makes people happy to decorate their homes
for Christmas, it seems unkind to be critical of it. Since I would like to count kindness as a fundamental
motivator, I now see that I have been foolish.
I was wrong.
If I have a
contrary opinion about something that gives people joy, I should shut up. And while
I’m shutting up I should shut up. And
don’t say anything. And be quiet.
I don’t know
why I ever made any issue of it to begin with.
No one appointed me guardian of holiday rules. I am not the enforcer of Christian etiquette. Dang, I am not even sure I qualify to say
anything about heathen etiquette. Or about
carrying dogs with you in the grocery store.
This
revelation made me examine other opinions I have, using the kindness filter. I am not going to go through the whole list, but
it’s not flattering. Everything sounds
judgmental and small.
Opinions are
like head colds. You may have one, people
may even be aware of it, but it doesn’t mean you have to infect them with
it. As a matter of fact, you would be
kindest to just stay home with your snotty opinion. I mean cold.
There are
probably unwritten rules about having an opinion about opinions. I’m already too weary to address that
spiral. I’m going to curl up in this
chair and watch the snow fall.
I realize that
world leaders often will read this forum, and right now are asking their
screens: “Wait, are you saying I shouldn’t have OPINIONS? How else can we make the world go around?” I’m not going to say that the kindness filter
works for every position, but I will say we could do a lot worse than starting
there.
Should we have
opinions about art, about making out while going through TSA screening, or baby
names, or having 20 items in the express lane?
Yes sure, but maybe we can make a pact to at least be gracious to each
other when our opinions differ. Kindness
again.
I’m in. Tis the season.
Hope
this finds you under mistletoe,
David
Copyright
© 2018 David Smith
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