Encouragement

April 9, 2018

Greetings from le coeur,

“Our chief want is someone who will inspire us to be what we know we could be.”  Emerson

There have been times when I have been faced with a challenge that seemed bigger than what I was capable of overcoming.  Thankfully there have been people seeded in my life that were paying attention, and in those moments of my doubt have stepped up to remind me of what gifts I have been given.

My self-confidence, my belief in what I can do, is built from my experiences, both success and failure, and my own choice between optimism and the alternative.  But what has bound that together is the encouragement that I have been given.

This has been on my mind as I check off the final days before I run the Boston Marathon.  I won’t tell you about the usual nervousness and second guessing that goes on this week.  And honestly there are new challenges I have never dealt with.  This is all bundled together; the culmination of months of work, the difficulties both imagined and real, my own doubts laced up with my beliefs.  It is a colorful, chaotic whorl of emotion.

I am in a community of runners who are encouraging one another, and just witnessing that has given me strength.  Not simply because of what we have in common, what we share as we get ready for our next big challenge.  But observing the simple act of selflessly lifting another person up is inspiration that gives me hope for all of us.

Encouragement is easy to find in the dictionary but not easily defined.  See that it comes from the old French ‘encoragier’, to make courage.  The word paints a picture of a person reaching into the heart of another and convicting them, showing them where their strength is and exhorting them to use it.  It is a kindness wrapped in passion. 

There is more to giving encouragement than just spouting cliché’s or being positive.  Sometimes that is helpful but does not get to what we all value.  The moments when I felt encouragement in its purest was not just in difficult times but in moments of triumph as well.  It was a connection that was both comfort and a call for me to reach deep to find what I was capable of.

These moments came from people who I trusted, from friends or family that cared enough to know me, and that bond produced what I felt as authentic encouragement.  I think it is part of our purpose as humans. It is an extension of love, of empathy.  The reason I know this is that I feel more alive both when I give encouragement and when I receive it.

I am determined to be better at it.  Like any other gift if it is taken for granted it becomes a faded version of the original.  I have had plenty of opportunities that passed because of my own selfishness or preoccupation with nonsense that should never have been even in my periphery.

This gift of encouragement is meant to be given away, but in a lucky quirk it of human experience it is one we can give ourselves.  We are qualified to look ourselves in the mirror and slice out what is needed, whether it is permission to put down a burden and move on, or to demand we dig deeper. 

And there are times when we can’t do it alone. 

In all of our lives there will be watershed moments when someone who matters to will listen to our doubts and fears, ask what we really want and then remind us that we have what it takes to achieve it.  To experience a full life it is incumbent on us to put ourselves in that exchange, as giver or recipient, and make the most of the gift.

I’m in.

Hope this finds you taking heart,

David

Copyright © 2018 David Smith