Scotland Forever

September 15, 2014

Greetings from the loch,

The last time I was in a Social Studies class my voice was changing and I couldn’t grow a mustache.  In spite of that, I feel confident that I can explain a complex geo-political/economic issue that you should know about.

If you look for Scotland on a map, you’ll see it perched on top of England, ambiguously separated by some dotted lines.  It is a country but a part of a sovereign state called the United Kingdom and for good measure it is part of a kingdom called Great Britain. 

As romantic as that sounds, the Scots don’t always see it as a positive.  Nothing new there; you only have to go back about 700 years to see there has usually been a little friction along the dotted line.  Just follow the antics of William ‘Braveheart’ Wallace. 

But for the last 300 years Scotland has been on board with the concept. That may change as soon as this Thursday.  The people of Scotland are going to vote on whether they want to secede from the United Kingdom. As of today, the polls are so close no one can predict the outcome.  (This is not a reference to people from Poland, which is not a part of the United Kingdom)

The people in England are against this separation.  One of the main reasons is that if Scotland quits the United Kingdom, they really have to change the name.  This will wreak havoc in the Empire.  The English are generally not in favor of havoc.  (Or of haggis, which is an ironic delicacy served in Scotland as a practical joke on English tourists.)

So there is a name change in the future.  One can hardly refer to oneself as a united kingdom if various serfdoms keep toddling off on their own, can one?  (This is how people in England speak, in case you haven’t watched ‘Downton Abbey’) So, what does that leave?  Fractured Kingdom?

They could fall back on the name ‘Great Britain’, but not with any confidence.  I mean it’s just England and Wales, a sub-country named after a sea creature.  Sure they have Northern Ireland but no one wants to be reminded of the rest of Ireland which un-united itself from the United Kingdom some years ago.  ‘Great’ sounds a little pompous considering all that baggage.

Whatever the new name will be, it is going to have a huge impact on the economy.  It means new stationary, new monograms, new signs, and new maps.   Probably new china for the Queen. (China is not a part of the UK, FYI)

Yes there are some other issues, like how this will affect the European Union, and what currency will Scotland use and will the Queen still be their queen?  Not to mention the Loch Ness monster. (Not relevant, really, so I didn’t mention it.)

I have a strong connection to Scotland, since that was where my Dad was born, but it turns out that I can’t vote on Thursday.  (I checked; I can only vote in the United States, which is not part of the United Kingdom in spite of the similar title)  Frankly I have no idea what is really better for the country. (Which is also true of all of the countries in which I am allowed to vote.)

Some experts say the if Scotland leaves Great Britain, then there will be far reaching ramifications, perhaps global consequences.  Only serious, in depth communication between the two countries will produce a positive outcome.  Which this week will no doubt prompt conversations like this between two gentleman, one from England and the other from Scotland:

“It’s a braw bricht moonlit nicht the nicht.”

“Yes, well, what are your thoughts on the vote this Thursday?”

“Ah dinna ken.  Haud ma chips a’v dropped the wean.”

“I’m not sure what you mean, but what is your opinion about the future of the Empire?”

“Whit’s fur ye’ll no go by ye!”

“Yes,..quite.  Well don’t you think that Scotland will fail without the support of England?”

"Yer bum's oot the windae!"

“I beg your pardon?  I have no idea what you’re saying, I simply want to express that our two countries are better by far off united.”

"Awa' an bile yer heid!"

“I take it from your tone that you are still thinking over your choice.  Well, good luck.”

“Gaun jus’ bugger aff wid ye afor I’ll gie ye a skelpit lug!”

“Er..quite.”

I am sure with this kind of empathic connection the United Kingdom will keep its title intact.  Anything could happen, but I’m an optimist at heart.  Heck, I am still hopeful my mustache will come in.

Hope this finds you in the heather,

David

Copyright © 2014 David Smith