December
21, 2015
Greetings
from the wrap artist,
Before
long there will be a pool of presents around the tree. A patchwork of color and pattern, Santa and
bells, ribbons and bows, and shapes that tempt speculation, and perhaps a
subtle shake.
But
Christmas is not just about gifts.
It’s
about gift wrapping.
There
has always been potential. When I was a
boy, the few times I was asked to wrap a gift I attacked it with all the
industriousness I could muster, and all the tape I could find. The result was a papier-mache rendering that
defied description… and opening. My
parents kept tools by the fireplace so we could chisel open gifts from me.
In
order to disguise my ineptitude I applied the magician’s method of
distraction. I would use the comic page
from the newspaper to wrap gifts, or perhaps a classic Hamady sack. This was cute for a while but when you’re 20
and your Christmas gifts look more like litter than glitter it’s time to step
up your game.
I
tried for many years to be patient, to plan, to be neat and fastidious. I would buy extra paper so I would not have
those embarrassing gaps that had to be patched.
I used scissors instead of a steak knife to make more precise cuts. I carefully sized the gift with the paper and
trimmed away the excess. Marked the
paper, folded neatly, tweaked, taped and tucked. Voila!
A wad that scientists refer to as Origami Detritus.
I
tried following the examples of my siblings.
Well, not my brother, the other ones.
They all seemed to have some creative dexterity that I lacked. Lining up the patterns at the seams, neatly
turned corners, invisible tabs of tape, accented with perfectly coiffed bows. They
could wrap a pair of sweat socks and somehow make it look like Tiffany’s
instead of All Sports.
One
of my many sisters is famous for recycling her gift wrap. I won’t say who she is because I don’t want
to embarrass her, so we’ll just call her ‘Dawn’. She would carefully unwrap each gift she was
given, and separate the tape from the paper and then neatly store the paper for
use later. I suspect that she did this
so she would have precut prefolded paper for the next gift she had to wrap.
The
only way she was going to reuse my gift wrap is if she was giving someone a
basketball. Or a wad of paper.
Since
becoming a parent it’s possible my standards have slipped further from whatever
low they may have begun. There have been
years of production wrapping that, in spite of constructive direction from the
quality control department, has produced a result that lacked the requisite
artistry. And looked like something the
dog threw up.
But
in the chaos of Christmas morning, no one really cared if the gifts were a
little wrinkled and creased. It’s the
thought that counts. (Best not to
examine that axiom too closely.)
Still,
I feel like I am in a new place, and there is potential. So I watched a video on YouTube about gift
wrapping. It was very helpful except it
the person wasn’t speaking English. It
is possible that I was accidentally watching a terrorist training film, so if
the NSA is reading this, please do not freeze my bank accounts until the Visa
bill is mailed.
It
was in this quest I discovered Furoshiki.
This is a Japanese method of wrapping gifts, or anything, by using large
swaths of expensive decorative fabric.
You knot and fold the cloth in a method that is uncannily close to how I
fold my bath towels, and voila! Your gift is swaddled.
My
sister, ‘Dawn’, would love this because it is totally reusable. Plus your gift wrap can double as a diaper, table
cloth, or a babushka. Perhaps not in
that order.
Sure,
I could use gift bags, or go to one of those fund raising gift wrapping tables
at the mall where the marching band will mangle my gift into an anonymous shape
for a small fee. Or I could seriously
practice until my gift wrapping skills get better. It’s probably more likely that my handwriting
will improve. (Pause here for my Mom to
say ‘I told you so’.)
The
truth is I have not bought any actual gifts yet, so this whole gift wrapping
thing is just an angst inducing exercise in hypothetical futility. But once I started it was kind of hard to
stop.
I
am maturing and growing, and I still have potential. Whenever there are actually gifts to be
wrapped, I will attend to the process with the same dedication, love and
creativity applied for the selection of the gifts themselves.
Now,
where are those Hamady sacks?
Hope
this finds you wrapped up,
David
Copyright
© 2015 David Smith
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